The light went on for me this morning. I feel just like the Steve Martin character,  Navin R. Johnson from The Jerk did when he learned that weight guessing is a profit game.

Oh jeez, armed with the secret, I might even get to meet Bernadette Peters. Now that seeing our Ducks win the Stanley Cup is checked, meeting Ms. Peters is number one on my personal bucket list.

I just discovered only one team in the NHL matters, the Hogtown Homers, whoops I mean Heroes, yeah Hogtown Heroes, aka Toronto Maple Leafs and Leafs Nation respectively.

How else do you explain the otherwise relatively sane folks at THN.com picking the Hogtowners atop this weeks Power Rankings?

That’s not all I’ve got though. NosireeHog, there’s more to this conspiracy, err secret.

Log onto the hockey two most popular sites, tsn.ca and Hockeybuzz and what do you see? Either top left or top right, above the fold, whoops new tech, I monitor eye level center is a story about the Hogtown Heroes.

It’s true. Over at Hockey Buzz, if Eklund isn’t touting today’s Brad Richards to Hogtown center left monitor, it’s Howard Homer-Berger center right monitor explaining why the Leafs are actually better than their record.

Same thing at tsn.ca. Hogtwon gets the above center right or center left monitor space. Right where those so five minutes ago hard copy newspapers taught us to look.

A few other teams have enough fans to consistently warrant honorable mention. There’s the Nuckleheads in Vanland. The Dead Heads in Detroit. Fatheads in Philly. Boston’s boneheads.  The witless in the Windy City. Rangers reekers in New Yawk.

If you’ve ever been to New York you know. New York is one part patchouli oil, one part roasted chestnut, one part cheap perfume and one part fart.  It’s why New Yorker’s walk fast.

And of course the Habs. Truth is we only pretend to be interested in the Habs. Every guy knows the easiest way to impress some girls is to fake a little worldly chic schtick. The Habs being that French team fill the bill.

Every season there’s a new team or two elevated to provide the drama. The nemesis pretender attempting to steal Lord Stanley’s Cup. This season it’s those Hollywood Hosers from L.A in the West and those Dolts who love their Bolts from Tampa Bay in the East.

So now that I know the NHL’s secret, this blog is about to change.

The ever dangerous Ducks will always be a top story garnering top coverage.

To grow the blog beyond the 2,500 views it has received so far in October, I have to be smarter about the broader NHL coverage.

So starting today BackCheck’s Blog will begin sucking up to the Hogtown Homers, Hollywood Hosers, Nuckleheads in Vanland, Phatheads in Philly, Rangers reekers, the witless in the Windy City, Detroit’s Deadheads, Boston’s Boneheads and maybe even those party crasher Thrashers in Atlanta.

Of course Backcheck’s Blog will endeavor to get some coverage on Pacific Division rivals San Jose Chokers, Dallas Diehards and anything I can do to help the hockey fan in Phoenix find a friend.

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Comments
  1. buick22 says:

    “Tronto” is affectionately known elsewhere in Canada as the “center of the universe”, it isn’t just sports. The laffs are very much like the Yankees, only they play like the Cubbies, so it’s a dichotomous homer to boot.

  2. BackCheck says:

    Just in case Elmer or any Hollywood Hosers log in, Buick22 is using ‘dichotomous’ in the adjective form, meaning divided into two parts.

    Ex.: The Hogtown Homers live large like the Yankees and lose like the Cubbies.

    Had to explain Buick22. Got a note from Wiki about Nuckleheads searching for Dichotomous Homer under Famous Greeks 😉

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